You Get Me • Gary Chapman & Jen Mickelborough

You Get Me: Simple, Romantic Ways to Speak the 5 Love Languages

February 2021 • Paperback • 978-0-8024-2268-2

Love Your Loved One in the Ways That Mean the Most

Knowing your significant other’s love language is the first step to communicating love—but ideas for how to communicate don’t always come easily. While your love is unquestionable, are you expressing it in ways that are meaningful to your loved one?

In You Get Me by Jen Mickelborough and Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages®, you’ll find simple, practical ideas for how to infuse your relationship with excitement, joy, and intimacy as you care for your beloved in the ways that mean the most to him or her. From planning spontaneous dinners to warm embraces, from creating thoughtful playlists to picking out the perfect gift, learn ways to communicate your love in every love language.

Don’t let a lack of ideas limit your best intentions. Discover how these simple, everyday expressions of love can become fundamental to establishing understanding and connection within your relationship.


Married more than 45 years to Karolyn, Dr. Gary Chapman is just the man to turn to for help on improving or healing our most important relationships. His own life experiences, plus over forty years of pastoring and marriage counseling, led him to publish his first book in the Love Language series, The 5 Love Languages®: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. Millions of readers credit this continual #1 New York Times bestseller with saving their marriages by showing them simple and practical ways to communicate their love to their partner.

Since the success of his first book, Dr. Chapman has expanded his 5 Love Languages® series to specifically reach out to teens, singles, men, and children.

He is the author of numerous other books published by Moody Publishers/Northfield Publishing, including Anger, The Family You’ve Always Wanted, The Marriage You’ve Always Wanted, Desperate Marriages, God Speaks Your Love Language, Parenting Your Adult Child, and Hope for the Separated. He coauthored The Five Languages of Apology with Dr. Jennifer Thomas.

Chapman speaks to thousands of couples nationwide through his weekend marriage conferences. He hosts a nationally syndicated radio program, Love Language Minute, and a Saturday morning program, Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, that air on more than 400 stations. Dr. Chapman also serves as senior associate pastor at Calvary Baptist Church in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

Dr. Chapman holds BA and MA degrees in anthropology from Wheaton College and Wake Forest University, respectively, MRE and PhD degrees from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, and has completed postgraduate work at the University of North Carolina and Duke University.

Dr. Chapman and his wife have two adult children and two grandchildren, and currently live in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

Jen Mickelborough is a British visual and textual artist who creates from her garden studio in Sheffield, England. Her art resonates colour as she explores themes of mystery, eternity and transcendence. Jen works in paint, line, textiles and sculptural form.



  1. Their own personal registry: Have them make an online gift list so you can buy them gifts spontaneously.
  2. Found treasures: bring home wildflowers, beautiful leaves, pretty pebbles, or a striking feather from a walk for them.
  3. The gift that keeps growing: If you have a yard, plant their favorite tree, bush, or flowers. Or buy a small potted tree, and put it on your balcony.

Acts of Service

  1. Lessen the load: Do one, some, or all of their chores for them. Or try sharing one of their chores – make it fun, put on some music, and have a laugh together. 
  2. Pay it forward: Do something that helps out someone they love. 
  3. Birthday baker: Make a cake for their birthday, or pick up one you know they would really like. Don’t forget the ice cream!

Quality Time

  1. New Flavors: Try a new restaurant or cuisine, or cook a new recipe together at home.
  2. Mystery Date: Plan a secret date and surprise them with a night out. Arrange for a babysitter if needed.
  3. Dining Alfresco: Take them on a picnic. Pack sandwiches or visit a deli and buy some treats. Go at sunrise or sunset with candles for a magical touch.

Words of Affirmation

  1. Parenting partners: If you have children, compliment their parents. Tell them what you appreciate and why. 
  2. Daily affirmations: Give them a compliment every day for a month. 
  3. Frame a love message: Give them a visual reminder of how you feel. Use an expression, quote, or line from a poem if you need help with words.

Physical Touch

  1. Meaningful comfort: Take time to give them extra affection when they’re feeling sad or vulnerable. If they’re upset, always offer your physical comfort. 
  2. Wingman: Be physically close when they’re dealing with difficult people or in a tricky situation.
  3. Soak up the sun: Lie on a blanket on a sunny day together. Sit on a bench or on the balcony and enjoy the warmth of the sun.